Today I'm going to talk to you about ways that you can help to build resilience in your child. What is resilience? Resilience is that ability to face a challenge or to fail to lose, but then to get back up again and to keep trying.
As parents, we want our kids to grow up to be resilient because life is hard. No matter how hard we try to protect them, our kids are going to see bad things in life. They are going to endure challenges. They are going to have bad experiences. The best thing you can do as a parent is to help your child develop the skills they need to face and overcome challenges. We want to help our kids build resilience and get back up when things are hard or if they fail.
Building Resilience in Kids
It is important to teach our kids resilience now while they're young, while it's safe, and while the stakes are low. As kids get older, they are going to fail at some point. They are going to make a mistake. However, instead of having the failure or mistake crush their spirit, we want to give them the strategies to build up these skills. With resilience, kids are able to face challenges, they can overcome mistakes and failures and get back up again.
Letting your child fail at something is really hard. As parents, we believe if our children make mistakes or fail, is a reflection on us. And selfishly, we don't want to look bad. It is totally natural to want your kids to always be successful. And so we often try to make sure that they're always successful. We let them win at games and we constantly help them. However, the more we shelter them, the less practice they are going to have with resilience. They're going to face challenges that we can't always be there to protect them from.
I'm going to give you some tips and strategies you can do to help build resilience in your child. Successful people know how to persevere after failure, so we need to teach our children that failure is not a sign of weakness, it is actually a way to build strength.
1. Find a safe place for your child to lose.
Games are really great for this. When you're playing a game with your child, don't automatically let them win. I know that it can be easier to just let them win. You can avoid a Tantrum. And you don't want to hurt their feelings.
However, guess what? In life, they're going to play games where they're going to lose. We might as well teach them the skills they need to cope with it. We should also teach them how to lose gracefully. Start by finding opportunities for your child to struggle, lose, or fail and nudge them in that direction. It will help them grow in the long run.
2. Model how to lose gracefully
Talk to your kids about ways that they can lose gracefully. Teach them to say things like, "Good game!" And, "I'm really bummed. I really hope I can win next time." Or, "I'm gonna keep trying and practicing to get better." Model for your child what this should look like. So modeling it for them is really important.
3. Help your children learn to reflect
Help them figure out what are they going do better next time? How are they going to improve? What can they do? What you want to avoid is your child making the same mistakes over and over again. We need to help them learn to see it as a learning opportunity. When kids reflect, encourage them to think about what they can change and do differently the next time. We don't want them to beat their heads against the wall, making the same mistakes, or failing the same way over and over again.
4. Praise them for their effort.
If your child is trying something that's hard, praise him for his effort. If you want your child to learn how to work hard, to keep going, to be resilient and persevere, praise effort, not ability.
A quick overview of how to build resilience in your child
1. Find safe opportunities for your child to lose. Encourage opportunities for your child to lose and experience failure while they're young.
2. model how to lose gracefully. Be the model. Talk to them about how to lose and fail gracefully.
3. Praise them for their effort, not their ability. Praise them when they are trying really, really hard.
5-Day Grit Challenge
If you haven't joined our five-day grit challenge for parents, you should because it is awesome! It's a five-day challenge to help promote grit skills in your child. It's a little five-day workshop for parents and it helps you to promote skills like growth mindset, perseverance, and resilience. These are all these skills that we really want to be teaching our kids. Click here to learn why Grit is important for kids and how you can help!
In the 5-Day challenge, I'll send you a video every day and a printable to go along with it. It's a good jumpstart to focus on promoting these skills in your children. I hope to see you in the challenge! Have a wonderful day. Bye.
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